Pure Joy

Today, I am filled with joy!!  Today's feeling of happiness stems from a combination of a family outing yesterday, today's church meetings and tomorrow's new journey to fitness knowledge and confidence. 

Yesterday, We decided to take the 30 minute venture to the Orem Applebees to use our annual Christmas gift we receive from Jill's parents.  We LOVE getting that every year since Darren and I typically don't take the kids to a sit-down restaurant very often.  It's fun for all of us to drive and talk and sit and eat while someone else does all the dirty work.  On the drive, a conversation broke out about the tragic loss of our big beautiful tree 9 months ago and how we will, sadly, never be able to build the anticipated tree house.  Hyrum (almost 11 yrs-old) mentioned he wished we never had the tree in the first place.  Then, he would have "never had to feel sad it was gone".  The majestic willow tree was his refuge.  He likes finding treasures and would always hide them in between the high branches of the tree.  We talked about "opposition in all things" and that it's "better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all".  Darren spoke about Jill and her passing and that he would go through all that pain again  when he knows it would include the love, joy and companionship only a husband and wife can share and that if someone told him he'd have to endure the pain of losing Jill when they began dating, he sill would have spent those 13 glorious years with her.  GOSH!!  I love him!!  Darren has so much love to give and I am blessed to be a recipient of it!!  On the drive, we discussed God's plan and how he wants us to feel pain for a couple of reasons.  One, is to learn from our trials and one is to know joy.  If there was no pain, we wouldn't know what if feels like to feel complete joy.  When I was going through the pain of abuse and divorce, I asked God, "WHY?"  I now know "why".  It is because if I had never felt such utter misery, I would not have ever felt such pure joy as I do now with my sweet family and home life.  I hope Hyrum is grateful to have experienced that with his tree and has the memories of those summer days in his little hide-away with the light filtering through the leaves.  I am so thankful for that teaching moment we had with our kids as we took our little family outing yesterday. 

Today in church, the spirit was definitely present as it always is.  I enjoy reloading my week with spiritual strength every Sunday.  In Relief Society, we actually talked about George Albert Smith and how he says, "There's opposition in all things".  Church is just a happy place and I am so very blessed to have the gospel in my life and taught in my home. 

Tomorrow, I begin a new hardcore fitness plan which involves strict nutrition (with a TON of eating - nothing but healthy stuff), lots of heavy weightlifting and only one 20 minute HIIT cardio per week.  I love long distance running.  So, that part is going to be hard for me.  But, I have a great deal of confidence I will reach my goal as I stick with the program my trainer/sports nutritionist customized for me.  My thoughts are all on my new fitness blog.  This part of the "pure joy"  post might sound silly to some of you so far but there's a reason I feel joyful about it.  Being fit is something that has always been on my mind.  Growing up, "skinny" was something I always wanted to "be" in order to feel confident.  Personally, I think the desire for a perfect outward appearance is a huge problem in the U.S.  It seems the majority of the people in this country are either obese and depressed because they don't like the way they think other people perceive them or they have an eating disorder because they don't feel confident enough about themselves to be comfortable in their own skin, ...or we're perfectly fine and healthy but we're still not happy with our physique.  I believe there are a select few (if any - I have yet to run into one of these fine people) of U.S. citizens who are confident just the way they are.  I heard about a book called, "What French Women Know" that discusses this very issue and tells how to be comfortable with one's self.  Look into it.  It might be worth reading - it's on my "to-read" list.  But in the mean time, I have chosen to seek means to achieve a fitness model physique.  Yes, honestly, a lot of the reason for this is because I want to feel ultimately comfortable with the way my body looks.  But I promise, it goes beyond that.  Other GOOD reasons are:  I LOVE being a personal trainer!!  I LOVE helping other people and teaching them how to reduce stress through exercise, achieve physical health and improve their self confidence.  I'm at a point where I need to learn more in order to continue in my career as a personal trainer.  ...And why do I care about a financial career as a full-time mommy???  One, I have been in a situation where I needed to support my family and, let me tell you, it wasn't fun!  It was hard being a single mom without a degree or work experience and it taught me to prepare if such a situation ever arises again.  Two, Darren will retire someday fairly soon and I'd like to have some kind of experience under my belt in order to contribute financially - that reason goes for the present as well and it's a career with flexible hours and will fit my family's needs.  Three, this type of career is extremely motivating.  It's one that pushes me to stay healthy and help others become and stay healthy.  ...Recap: Achieving fitness will bring me joy through feeling comfortable in my skin, becoming knowledgeable and credible in my career and... just the thought of the actual achievement of something which requires so much work, dedication, and persistence will bring me the much-needed confidence this girl has never had.  ...and last but not least, I want to be healthy and strong.  I'm pretty sure explaining the reason of this part of my day's joy is unnecessary.  To sum it all up, knowing I am about to embark on a journey to hit this lifelong goal and having someone to hold my hand every step of the way, I feel confident it WILL happen. 

Joy!!!  Pure Joy!!